I'm just so broken this morning. Life is too busy and I feel it tugging me in so many directions. I'm not used to having my days filled with meetings till late at night, kids sports, etc and it seems Satan is really working on my. I feel so discouraged this morning and was not in a good place to be handling Peyton. I snapped at her when she was throwing one of her fits and well... Randy came down and took her into another room and that is when I started crying. I feel so inadequate and overwhelmed as a parent. I feel like the world is on my shoulders and I really just need lots of prayers.
I'm feeling pretty low this morning and I know Satan is playing a roll in all this and I'm fighting back. Guess he doesn't like the fact I'm spending way more time in God's word and working on improving myself and my marriage/family.
On dare day 6, it asked me what one act of kindness or chore can I do for my husband today. Well, I knew he had to get a hair cut right before Collin had baseball practice so I was planning on taking Collin without my husband having to worry about rushing or having to take him to practice. How will my expectation (regarding my husband's response) be challenged when doing this? It really wasn't after I kept reading Philippians 2:14. I really need to do things without complaining or expecting a response. I'm learning to do it cheerfully and just because, not for recognition.
A couple of questions that really stood out to me was "Do you tend to state the facts, or do you communicate emotionally? What would be the outcome if you could communicate more factually in your relationship with your husband?" Well this would open up a entirely whole new way of communicating between us, and in a good way. I'm a very passionate person which in turn turns into emotional communication. I'm slowly learning to just think about things first then replying or stating things in a factual way. Its been nice when I tried this today as usually when we communicate it ends up being emotional and we disagree or really misunderstand each other. I really think Randy would enjoy talking with me more if I was more of a non emotional communicator. I think that would be such a wonderful thing in our marriage.
I think these two days I've learned to do things for my husband through love and without the expectation or resentment that usually had shown itself. I have also learned to really slow down and listen before speaking as it has really helped in getting a point across as I'm stating it factually instead of emotionally.
I'm actually starting to look forward to Day 7 of this dare :-) Till then.....
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