Well, its obvious what today's dare is about and this is definitely one of my weaknesses. To actually wait and hear everything before "going off" is not easy but I do understand what this lesson was saying. That the other person may need to talk it out and learn from it in God's time before I jump in with a comment that may just start an argument. The verses above pretty much state how God wants us to be and I had to print it out to remind me that I'm not living the way God wants me to live if I don't do what he has instructed.
I had to look back on my marriage, and actually my life, and I see so many arguments I could have avoided or would have had a more positive outcome if I had listened more and was slower in jumping to conclusions or being caught up in the moment. I feel like its going to be tough to remain calm in the middle of a storm but I need to start working on it. A more positive outcome sounds better to me than arguing and being miserable all the time. Plus I now realize my ideas may not be the best for a specific situation.
While reading and rereading James 1:19 I'm realizing it takes more to be strong in self control than in reacting. I have decided I am going to work on my respectful communication in order to reign in my emotional communication.
Honestly, I started the day really reading this and as the day went on, it faded from my heart. I'm not sure if Satan is at work or what but it is amazing I'm so ready to do the day's dare and by the end of the day I have so many distractions and things that take my time away. As I sit here my mind is wandering about other things that are definitely not important. I'm really needing God's help right now to focus on him.
I do have to mention that this past Sunday we had that couple over that I had mentioned and I had asked my husband if he could handle Peyton that evening as I had a meeting to attend. All I heard him say was he would be working in Durham. What I heard and what he meant were two different things. I really wanted to blow up right then and there and I held back for some reason. More than likely it was because our friends were sitting right there, but a part of me wanted to just take it "offline" and talk to him later about it. Well today I decided to email him how I felt and that I am trying so hard to change within and struggling and his nonchalant attitude about my work was starting to anger me. His reply was so not what I had expected and it really saddened me because one sentence really brought home the fact, no, I guess I really didn't know him if I thought he meant he wouldn't watch our youngest while I attended a meeting. We both really need to start communicating more because thank God, He didn't create us with the ability to read each other's minds. He created us as individuals.
I hope tomorrow is a better day on focusing on this series. I may not be able to write tomorrow since it will be a late night for me. I'll try to post even a small one tomorrow.
Till then....
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